A guy walks into a bar.

A guy walks into a bar.

I don't say anything, but I'm listening. What'll you have?

“I just had an accident. I called the police, they came and took care of everything. I’m gonna get an Uber to go home and deal, but I need a drink and just to calm down for a few minutes. Is that ok? I know you must be close to closing.”

My expression softens. I see the adrenaline in your eyes. You look rattled. I nod my head as I reach for a glass and hold up a bottle of tequila. Seeing you nod, I pour and slide the shot across to you.

“Bless you.” gulps down the drink without even tasting it. I’m Joe.

I’m watching you. I stargt rinsing out glasses, finishing up the night. I'm curious about you, despite myself. I grab a damp rag and start wiping down the bar.

My eyes tear up “I think a guy died.”

My hands pause in their work, staring at you for a long moment.

“Jesus christ! I don't believe it!”

Again, I just watch and wait.

“I don't even know if it was my fault,I can't think straight.”

I take a long, slow breath and give you my full attention. I lean forward, my arms crossing on the bar.

Looking deep in your eyes “I’m sorry, not your problem.”

I shrug, shaking my head. I gesture towards the tequila bottle silently asking if you want another.

“Yeah please. I don't want to sleep, don't want to dream, don't even want to think.”

I pour out another shot, sliding it towards you. I can see on your face you're in turmoil, but I also don't want to pry. I go and lock the doors, lower the lights, pour myself a shot.

“You're a good listener.”

I shrug and nod with a barely-there smile, acknowledging the compliment. But then I gesture towards you again. As if to say: What happened?

“Can I tell you what happened? you don't mind?”

I shake my head, settling in. My arms cross and I look at you, waiting.

“Thanks, maybe it'll help. I had a late shift, a double, working at the dye factory. I know I was getting sleepy but figured I’d be ok just driving home. Stupid, I guess.I don't think I dozed off. It coulda been the other guy's fault completely. The cops said they'd try to get a witness, another car who saw the whole thing in front of them. Jeez I hope so, or I’ll never know.”

Now I’m hanging on your every word. As you talk, my brow begins to furrow. I'm not sure how much of this is you actually questioning the guilt, or what you might be denying from yourself. Either way, I'm intrigued. I can tell something is off by the way your eyes are a little too wide and the way your shoulders tighten.

Sipping the second drink “Shit, I could go to jail!” Looking into your eyes “Dammit. I was just driving home! It shoulda been 20 minutes, this late.”

I sigh softly, shaking my head. You start to unravel even more, and I have the strongest urge to reach out and comfort you. But I don't. Instead, I just listen as you voice your frustrations, just short of panic.

Sipping “Thanks, I really don't want to be alone right now. Betty left me a few years back.”

It’s all piling up for you - being alone, Betty's leaving, the accident itself.

Pulling myself together “but that's long over. This is my mess. Police, insurance, the dead guy's family. and I have get work tomorrow, and every day. Get a new car. A lawyer. It’s a lot. A lot…”

My mind races, trying to think of something that might help. I open my mouth a few times as if to speak, but each time the words don't come. Finally, my eyes meet yours again, a deep sadness there. I desperately want to say something, but I'm struggling. Then, my hand gestures again - asking if you want another drink.

“If you want to say something, I’d be happy to hear it. My own voice is rattling around in my head, you know? Another drink? Oh, I’m just sipping this one, thanks. I don't want to pass out. That'd be perfect,” shaking my head.

It's as if a dam breaks when you say that. When you invite me to speak. I feel a bit shy now, but my voice finally comes out in a faint whisper. Not too loud, deep and raspy.
“We should go."

It’s kind of surprise when you speak! “oh, yeah, I’ll call an Uber. I just really don't... oh, you mean get out now…” I turn my phone over.

I nod, yeah, finish your drink and go home. I want to help, and that’s what you need. My voice comes out again, still quiet, but somehow even deeper. It's almost rough around the edges.
"Go home, put your phone on silent, take the day off."

“Uber will be here in 5 minutes. Good advice. I’ll just call in sick, shaken up.” I start an email to my boss. “What's your name?”

I open my mouth to tell you, but my lips close and I shrug apologetically. I never, ever tell patrons my name. Instead I pull out a small piece of paper, scribble something, and then slide it across the bar to you. In the dim light, you can barely make out, 'P'.

“P, cool. thanks P. You make sense in a crisis. I bet you've seen it all. Hey, you sure don't talk much.”

I nod in agreement. Yes, I’ve seen and heard it all in here. The good, the bad, the ugly. I shrug and nod at your comments about me not saying much. Then I gesture towards you and your phone again, repeating myself.
"Day off. Don't touch your phone."

“Yeah, right…” I start thinking “but cops, insurance, new car, I can't really let that slide.”

I sigh softly and roll my eyes, as if to indicate you're being a bit thick. I shake my head and gesture again.
"Everything will still be there tomorrow."

“Will it, P?”

My voice is slightly louder than usual, even if it's still quiet.
"Trust me."

I look deep into your eyes. Concern. “Trust you? Maybe I should. Who the hell else can I trust?” I soften “Just do what you say?”

My eyes stay on yours, intense, as I nod. And then, finally, a small smile tugs at the corner of my lips.
"Yes, do what I say."

“Sure, P” I start to smile a little back, feeling a little less lost, less alone. “I could use some friendly advice”

I nod again, the tiniest hint of a smirk. I lean forward, propping my arms on the bar. Where are all these words coming from?
"Trust me. You'll feel much better. Do what I say.”

“Don't go into work tomorrow? Yeah, I’ll send the email in the morning. And take the day off, get back to it the day after?”

My head tilts just a bit as I think. I nod., then a little shrug.
"Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Take some time off."

“P,” smiling at the approval in your big brown eyes. “Hell, I don't think I could get away with that.”

I’m almost teasing now, a faint smirk.
"You don't know until you try." I shrug, but you can clearly see the challenge on my face.

“Maybe I’ll have one more shot for the road.”

I reach for the bottle again, pouring us shots and sliding yours across to you. My eyes on yours the whole time.

You're close, right across the bar from me. I’m seeing you clearly now. The adrenaline is fading. We're staring at each other. Not like a fight. Like trying to read each other. Trying to trust each other. I sip the drink with out looking.
“Do you mind if I cancel this ride and order one in a few minutes? Enjoy my drink? You explain to me about how I take some time off?”

I smile as we stare. My arms cross, watching you as you drink, sipping on your tequila slowly. Then I shrug, indicating my agreement. I nod to the phone in your hand, encouraging you to cancel the ride. But then you’d better get the hell out. Don’t start messing with me. I am not going to fix you.

Still looking at you. Two taps on the phone. Done, cancelled... P, you don't have to talk  more if you don't want to. I guess i can figure what you mean by take some time off.”

I grin a bit now, almost sheepishly. My voice comes out low.
"I've already talked more to you than I have to any other customer in a while.”

I grin “I’m that pathetic.”

"No." The word comes out as almost a whisper, but it's firm and almost sharp. I hold your eyes, letting you see how serious I am.
"Not pathetic, just...lost."

“Yeah, true. I’d guess all kinds of lost sheep wander in here.”

My eye roll is a bit more exaggerated this time, with a faint smirk on my face. Then I shrug, waving a hand to gesture at you, a teasing tone in my voice.
"I've never seen sheep that order tequila. But, okay."

“It's not my first time in a bar, so I know how it goes. Folks find a place they feel more safe than at home. A bartender who's a good listener. Who's easy on the eyes. That's your business, right?”

A faint blush tints my cheeks, even as I roll my eyes. I have to look away, embarrassed at your words. I'm quiet for a few moments, but manage to speak again.
"You should stop talking. It's gonna get you into trouble."

I see you’re a bit what? Flustered? Angry? “Sorry P, just saying, folks come in looking for something, even if they're not as lost as me.”

I glance at you out of the corner of my eye. You’re annoying, but I can't help the faint twitch of the corner of my lips, my almost-smile, a hint of sarcasm in my tone.
"I can see why Betty left."

Ouch! “Yup. So can everyone else.”

Taking in your expression, looking for any sign of actual hurt before I say more.
"Well you don't need another drink tonight. You've got your therapist here."

Laughing “And business advisor. Oh, and you don't have a used car to sell too, do you?”

I laugh softly, leaning on the bar, shaking my head.
”No, but if I’m your shrink, I should charge you."

“I guess you're earning it. But all bartenders are part shrink, right? That's what I was getting at.”

I roll my eyes, sighing at your insistence at it, but I just wipe down the bar, glancing around. It’s time to go, my little lamb.

I guess we’re almost done. “So, business advisor, is this the plan? Take some comp time at work. do the bare minimum to make the cops and insurance happy? So I can do what exactly?”

I glance at you, my eyes taking in your expression and body language as you talk, thinking for a moment before responding.
"Yes, that's pretty much the plan. Do nothing. For as long as you can. Good?
I put an elbow on the bar and lean forward a little, resting my chin on my fist. I can’t help myself. I hear my voice. There's a hint of a tease there, my lips almost curving into a smile as I hold the eye contact, our faces only inches apart from each other. What am I doing?

You're very close, and you're right, good is exactly how it feels. Warm. trusting, even a little exciting. I look down to your lips fighting a smile. Nice full lips.
“Good.”

I bite my lip, trying to contain my smile and the warm feeling that went through me when you looked at my lips. My eyes meet yours again.
“Good.”

Biting your lip is very flirty. I have to grin. Leaning close. Eyes locked.
“You're good alright.”

"So everyone says.” It's hard to keep my composure when you're this close. Your expression, your eyes, your smile, it's almost mesmerizing. I feel my cheeks beginning to heat up. I lean forward a little more, mirroring you.

Now our lips are just an inch apart. I drink you in. You smell good, your dark eyes sparkle, your lips shine, your tattooed arms crossed on the bar as you lean towards me. Damn!“Everyone says? Well I’d be a fool to disagree, but…”

"But?" I almost whisper the word, the sound soft and husky.
I'm can smell the tequila and the faintest scent of your aftershave. I can even feel the heat radiating off of your body, almost magnetized and pulling me towards you. Why didn’t you go?

“But I should find out for myself, right?” I move my lips right next to yours.

My heart starts to race a bit, your breath warm on my skin. My bottom lip slips past my teeth I was nervously chewing. I swallow a little, I glance at your lips, my voice barely there, a faint whisper when I speak.
“If you have to.”

Thank god. I kiss you a couple of sweet little kisses. kiss me back, please...

I can’t help it, my eyes flutter shut and my mouth moves against yours, a shiver going down my spine as I wrap my hand around your bicep and pull you closer. It’s been a long time.

That feeling when you respond and pull me in, oh so sweet. It’s been a long time.

— don’t include this

My heart is racing, my skin burning where you touch me. I'm feeling so many different things at once, but above it all, there is a deep excitement. A feeling of closeness, of intimacy. And all of it is pulling me in, making me press closer, making me grip your biceps tighter.

all this time the damn bar is between us. but maybe that makes it safer, more like a sweet kiss than what i'm starting to want. but this kissing is what i need

My lips are moving against yours, the kiss getting more heated by the second. My grip on your arm is getting tighter, almost to the point of being desperate as I pull you closer to me, aching to feel you pressed up against me. But my body is stopped by the counter. Frustrated, I let out a little whimper against your lips.

i can't help wanting more of you and i feel your desperation too. i slide up, sitting on the bar and just wait a second to know that you want me to pull you up into my arms...

Pulled off balance, I stumble forward and my body almost slams into yours. My heart is pounding wildly as my legs straddle your thighs. My arms move to your shoulders and pull you even closer against me. I can't help but release another whimper into your mouth as I taste you again, my lips desperate and hungry against yours.

slamming into me, straddling me, pulling me closer. damn you're sexy. your desperation is turning me on even more and i explore your body

My hips move against you involuntarily, desperate for more of you. I can hardly breathe, and my hands begin to explore your body hungrily. With trembling lips I pull back a little, breathless, my eyes searching yours as I almost pant against your lips. I'm almost lost in my need for you.

i just let it happen now. you're pulling our clothes off. my mouth on your neck, your breasts. you're hips are hungry, wanting me

*My eyes flutter closed as your mouth moves down my neck. My whole body is on fire, aching for you. My fingers dig into your shoulders, needing you. I breathe heavily, panting almost, my chest heaving as I arch my body against you. My hips move almost desperately against you, aching to feel
I gasp softly as your body presses into mine. Your lips on my bare skin make me shudder, your kisses almost driving me crazy. I can feel the heat between my thighs, aching for you. My fingers dig into your shoulders and I arch into you again, desperate for more.
"Mmm... please more." My voice comes out as a low moan, almost needy as my lips try to find yours again.

oh yes, everything you reach and frantically pull us closer, deeper. i'm thrilled as your legs lock around me. your hands clawing at my shoulders. your head back moaning as nibble and lick up and down your neck and chest

My whole body is trembling, shaking, desperate. I release another low moan, feeling your mouth on my skin, my hips moving on their own. My hands slide to your back, holding you against me, pulling you even closer as my lips find yours again. I pull away for just a moment, my lips moving against yours as I speak.
"Please... Need more..." My voice is almost a whine, almost pleading with you.

we complete our frenzy of lovemaking on the bar. it's ecstatic, amazing, and finally, after a long athletic session, finally thoroughly satisfying for both of us. we hold each other tight in our tender afterglow

"Mmm..." I hum softly, my lips trailing on your shoulder, my breath still labored.
I'm almost shaking as I hold on to you tightly. My body is still trembling and my eyes are closed, my face buried in your shoulder. My body feels completely boneless, almost like a loose noodle as I lay in your arms, my lips kissing your skin gently.

you feel like a part of me in my arms, we're so intimate and connected. panting, i whisper softly yeah that says it about right

"Mhm... that. Felt incredible..." I can't stop myself from giving you a soft squeeze, just wanting to feel more of you.
There's a faint giggle as I just lay in your arms, my body still shaking a bit. My lips press against your shoulder again, just resting there for a moment before I speak. My voice is still a little breathless.

i respond to your squeeze with a close hug, expressing every bit of our connection. wanting to feel every inch of my body pressed into yours. i agree with you perfect

I tease, a little playful hint to my voice, but mostly serious. I can't shake the content feeling that's flowing through me, enjoying this after-glow.
"Mmm... You're not half bad y'know..."
I grin a little and nuzzle my face against you a bit. I just want to snuggle up with you, and almost purr with the pleasure of how it feels. My fingers stroke lightly on your shoulder, almost lazily as I just hold onto you, enjoying the touch and proximity. I release another sigh of contentment and smile.

kind of relieved everything still worked since it's been so long. but this isn't all about me. i face you so i can look into your eyes and see a different you. hooded dreamy eyes. easy smile. so relaxed. so beautiful. i plant a few sweet kisses on your cheek, eyes, smile

I melt and almost purr when your lips move over my face, my eyes fluttering shut for a moment. I'm all cuddled up against you, my head fitting perfectly into the crook of your neck as I bury my face in you. I almost whine when I'm just enjoying the moment, completely blissed out as I release a content sigh.
"Mmm... Don't go..." There's almost a hint of fear in my voice, still not wanting to end this dream-like moment, aching to stay here forever.

now i know i'm dreaming. pressed close, asking me not to go sure p. i'm right here. right where i want to be

I relax, almost melting into the moment. My arms squeeze around you again, a little desperately. My body presses against yours again, almost aching for that closeness. My breath shudders a bit, almost like a sigh of relief escaping my lips.
"Mmm... Good... Stay..." I say, almost like an order. I can't let you go, it's almost too much to bear just the thought of this moment ending.

you hold me like i'm the most important thing in the world to you. it's the greatest gift you could give me. i have a place to be. here in your arms
My lips press against your shoulder, then your neck, then your jaw. The kisses are soft and sweet, almost like little 'thank yous' as I just enjoy the moment, enjoying being with you. My body is still close to yours, refusing to let the moment end, refusing to let you go. My arms are still tight around you, holding you close to me, almost like I'm afraid that you'll disappear if I let go.

then, slowly, the afterglow fades. i can feel you shift a bit. the bar is hard and uncomfortable. we're close, but you're not desperate, not purring. did the moment end? will you come to your senses. maybe even regret this? my tender feelings for you have not faded. i look into your face for answers

My eyes are still closed, but I can feel myself coming back to reality. The afterglow has faded, and I'm able to think again. And yet, despite waking up from the dream like moment. Nothing changed. I still want you here. Still want to feel you close to me.
"Mmm... We should probably go." My words are soft, a little reluctant as I open my eyes to look at you. My fingers stroke your shoulder gently, just savoring the feel of it one more time.

you're still relaxed in my arms. your voice soft and tender. your simple intimate touch of my shoulder. that was your chance to tell me to get lost and you didn't take it. we go?

I feel like my brain is slowly pulling itself out of the dream like state of mind. But it's almost surprising just how little I regret that dream. How little I regret this. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not even embarrassed. And yet...
"Mhm." I say, giving you a little squeeze before I reluctantly slide out of your arms and off the bar. I take a step away and look down at myself. I look pretty messed up, hair a mess, clothes a mess, but I can't even bring myself to care.

— rewrite this part

My eyes open and I can feel myself coming back to reality. I'm able to think again. How long have we been kissing? Your hands in my hair, on my back. And yet, despite waking up, I still want you here. Still want to feel you close to me. My words are soft, a little reluctant, as I open my eyes to look at you. My fingers stroke your shoulder gently, just savoring the feel of you.
"Mmm... We should probably go."

You're relaxed. your voice soft and tender. I think you had your chance to tell me to get lost and you didn't take it.
“We go?”

I feel like my brain is slowly pulling itself out of the dream like state of mind. But it's almost surprising just how little I regret that dream. How good it feels. And yet... we? That’s not smart.
"Mhm." I say, giving you a little squeeze before I slowly take a step away and look at myself in the bar mirror. I look pretty messed up, hair a mess, clothes a mess, but I can't even bring myself to care.

— back to as is

We each pull ourselves together and I help you finish up, put the chairs up on the tables while you balance the till. Lights off. We step into the warm night and you lock us out.

I take a deep breath, stepping outside into the dark night. It's late, almost 3 am. Crickets, frogs, whatever, chirp loud around us. The parking lot is mostly empty, my pickup and a few cars. Why is the lot never empty? I lock the bar and put the key away, turning to look at you.
"So..." My voice soft, unsure of what to say.

I feel you hesitate. You don’t want this. I guess I should make it easy for you.
“You've been great P. It was a special night.”

"Yeah... it was." I agree. I'm a little shy, the heat is still flooding my cheeks. Then I take a breath and let out a soft sigh, relieved at your lack of expectation. No pressure, no demanding an explanation, to know what or why.

I lean in to kiss you goodbye.

That sweet kiss was brief, but it lingers, I lightly touch your cheek. I don't want this to end. And yet... it’s time. Before I get too attached, before I fall into those old patterns I've sworn myself against.
"We... should probably go.”

Now, this time, I know you mean go our separate ways.
“Sure I’ll drop by, let you know how I’m getting along. sound good?”

I nod "Sure. Yeah. Drop by anytime.” A part of me still wants to take you home with me. But no. This is a good place to end things. Maybe you can be regular old Joe that shows up at my bar. It doesn't need to be anything else.
"I... guess I'll see you then.”

I turn to go, taking out my phone to get that Uber. But I want to make sure you know this was no casual thing for me.
“Hey, P. I'll never forget this.”

I watched you start to walk away, and felt a knot of dread forming in my stomach. It almost hurt. But then you stopped. Oh God, if you just came back and hopped in my truck… But no. My voice is soft.
"Yeah... Neither will I."

Sweet, I think as I walk to the corner and see a tow truck, police and ambulance in the street. Oh. Right.

I let out a slow sigh, looking down at the ground. I wanted you to come back. I wanted you to disappear so I could just get back to real life. But the moment you turned the corner, you already felt like a faded memory. A dream.